In This Day and Age

Whew, definitely been awhile since I've bothered. Much has happened. I've moved all the way across the country from Wisconsin to the beautiful state of Maine. I've taken on a new job. I have missed my daughter like nutso for the last three months. I've had some dates here and there and ta-da, even in the midst of pure chaos, I have managed to bother with a little bit of a relationship.

Truth be told, the relationship itself was fine. He was fine. He was nice. He's funny, sometimes (though I'm definitely more funny than him). But it was like the invasion of the ex-family; he lived in his ex mother-in-laws rental property...he spent Sunday mornings having breakfast with his ex father in law. He bowed to the whims and fancies of his ex wife. It was just too damn close for comfort. You know, that's just how it goes sometimes, I guess. There really wasn't anything wrong with that, but it wasn't comfortable to me.

It made me  realize that I really shouldn't date men who have kids. I know I should keep an open mind about it, but I just don't think it's a good fit for me. And as a woman in her 30's, I realize that this can be quite limiting.

Considering the amount of stress there is associated with the dudes with ex's and kids and blah...yeah, I'd rather just be single.

 Does it make me a hypocrite? Oh sure it does. But then again, I haven't heard anything from my ex husband in 6 years. Six years. I think it's safe to say that he's really not a factor in my life or my daughter's life. So really, I'm not much of a hypocrite; I don't have to deal with the drama that accompanies an ex.

All that aside, that really isn't what pissed me off in this situation. As badly as I wanted to end things on my own...using text or just any passive-aggressive way, really, I didn't. I knew that was uncouth. I knew that it would bother me should someone do that to me. So instead, I waited until I wasn't irritated and irrational and requested a conversation.

Denied.

Conversation denied because rather than owning up to the demise of a relationship, however short it was (not quite two months), he chose to end it via a facebook message.

As much as it's fun to think about what it would be like to be twelve years old again, I am not and he is not and that is not a way to end a relationship! This wasn't a third date break-it-off thing; this was nearly two months of exclusivity. I would think it would merit something better than a facebook message. But what does that say about him and what does that say about me?

On the other hand, it gets me out of the guilt associated with potentially breaking someone's heart. I'm sure he's upset but clearly his pride was a bigger and more important issue in the matter than ending something amicably and saving a friendship out of it.

Hopefully I've grown beyond having so fragile of an ego.

Perhaps I can source more horrible date stories from this new-to-me land...

Chowder and Tears

Hello readers - it's been awhile, hasn't it? I haven't had much to say because my life has been peaceful...and I've even been in a "healthy" relationship! It's amazing, isn't it?

Sadly, I come to you with bad news. That "healthy" relationship got sick and died over the weekend.

Before I get into it though, and share this little morsel of pain, I should give you a back story.

I work for a large international company. About two months ago I thought I'd look at see if there were any interesting openings. There was! I put in my resume, not thinking it would really go anywhere. However, I have made it through the process! Part of the deal, though, is that I needed to fly out to headquarters and visit the team...as it will be required of me to move out there.

I am so excited!

Last week I hopped on a plane and flew to the East Coast for the job. I was floored by the food, people, ocean, and everything else. My heart was full.

Prior to the trip, I know that John was having difficulties in his own position and was looking for an "out." He'd submitted his resume to multiple places but hadn't had much luck. Poor guy. I figured that I was ready to take our relationship to the next level and I had told him that assuming I got the position, I'd be his "sugar momma" until he landed a good job out there...with me.

He declined but promised to look for work out East so he could join me.

Things were lovely...until I texted him Friday night to let him know I was sitting down to a bowl of chowder and enjoying my time out there. He dropped a huge shit bomb on me. He decided he was moving back West and wouldn't see me again.

So that was that. Over my fucking chowder. On a business trip.

I really just don't get it.

I'd say that it's got to be a Midwest thing, but I doubt that's the case. I think it's a guy thing...more specifically, a spineless, weak, lacking-in-confidence, guy thing. And somehow, they are always attracted to me.

Le Sigh...onwards and upwards...at least out East I'll be able to be miserable with a bowl of clam chowder....

Ta!