I'm not quite sure how so many men became so comfortable with their own waste but this is a bit of a problem that has come up over the years with different men in my life. Understanding that other women have had similar issues with their male companions I feel comfortable in generalizing that there seems to be a thing going on here with men and their shit.
Years ago when I was married, my husband had a very dirty job. He worked at a place that performed quickie oil changes and he'd come home absolutely filthy. I would insist that before he pretty much touch anything, he take a shower. Even still, his greasy hands would graze the walls and leave streaks and you can bet he wasn't going to be the one to clean up those paw prints. He'd end up in the shower anyway and by dinner time he be once again presentable.
After awhile, though, I started to notice a pattern. Heaven forbid he hang up his own towel (because, after all, that's what a wife is for -- even if your wife works full time (and you don't) it's her job to take care of her husband as if he's a toddler) and I noticed that the towels had some streaks on them. It looked like streaks of dirt and so that's what I assumed it was. Since we had separate towels I didn't think much of it. I was already annoyed that he'd come home and mark up the walls and leave his wet towels on the floor after he took a shower. My towel was always hung up after my morning shower so it was easy to tell which towel was mine.
But then the story takes a horrifying turn for the worst.
I recall, faintly (as I believe my brain is trying to block out this memory), reaching for my towel one morning after my shower and toweling off. Normal behavior. But as I bent over to whip my hair up into the towel, I see the dreaded streak of dirt on the towel. Well, it wasn't quite black like the undersides of his fingernails...so I looked...and looked...and looked...
It was shit. It was a 4 inch long streak of shit. On a towel that I just dried my whole body off with. Obviously I hopped right back into the shower and used a CLEAN towel when I was done.
Upon confrontation of the (not-supposed-to-be) striped towel, my husband became combative and defensive and insisted that I had no idea what I was talking about and that it was normal.
In what universe is it normal to take a long shower then get out of said shower and still be so filthy that in the process of drying off your butt crack you end up using the towel like toilet paper? I don't believe I have encountered this problem for myself so I don't really know how normal it is.
Needless to say, his behavior didn't change. And now I have white towels. That I can bleach. And remove any hideous marks which are made obvious anyway.
So...years later...post divorce
I had dated a man for several months when we finally decide to have the big sleepover. In the morning I went and had coffee while he was sleeping (or...not...). After awhile he woke up and joined me and we had a pleasant conversation before he had to leave. He left and of course I went about my business, including making up my bed.
There was a streak. A streak I was all too familiar with. Cautiously I approached the streak and looked it it in disbelief. How could another man be so comfortable with his own fecal matter that he'd feel comfortable using my bed sheet as a piece of toilet paper?
It was...shit. It was!
Having had to tolerate my towels being ruined by someone's shit...I wasn't ready to deal with this man's shit on top of the shit I had already been through with my ex husband. I didn't even think twice but instead I threw them into the trash. Simple and effective. Not what I would prefer but SHIT.
If you are a man who is reading this I would truly appreciate some insight on this whole fecal matter thing. I have to ask...do you feel unresolved poop on your skin if you weren't able to wipe properly? Wouldn't that be uncomfortable? Itchy almost? I fail to understand how men can feel okay with feces stuck to their skin and then to be defensive when the hygiene problem is presented. To further this argument, I must also ask why men feel that their ladies should be okay with (and in some cases clean up after) their men and their weird pooping habits. Streaks, track marks, racing stripes, etc...all of these terms have nick-named this problem which again, makes me believe that it is a legit male trait.
I do not want shit on my sheets or on my towels ever again. How do I avoid this?
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