What is WRONG with you?

NOTHING is wrong with me. I can't speak for you but when it comes to myself, I know I'm just a dandy human being. Maybe snarky (okay, so yes, I'm snarky) but I'm certainly smart, successful in a mediocre kind of way, cute, and happy. Mostly happy.

So I'm at a loss as to why I remain perpetually single. Don't we come to a point where we realize that it's time to settle down and find that partner? To grow up and enjoy life with someone? Why has dating  become so damn difficult?

I've got several theories. One relates to the man-child theory. Perhaps I'm too much of a woman to want to take care of a man, but it seems like a lot of the relationships I witness are based on the woman taking care of the man, almost as if they are another child within the relationship. Maybe I need to realize that if I want to have a man in my life, it'll have to be one of this seriously dependent men and I'll have to just get over this idyllic man-as-equal thing. (What the hell happened to equality?)

The second theory I have is that perhaps our culture of online dating has really worked against us. It's easy to pass on a profile online based on the way they look or one sentence that they type or whatever. So we are passing up potentially awesome folks based on something superficial. I have to wonder, then, are we really serious about finding a partner? Or is it easier to just say "there's no one out there for me" and reject the entire idea of compromising for the sake of a relationship.

Things just seem so extreme; it's either all or nothing these days. You're either in it or not at all. For example, I'm not committed to anyone at this point. However, I know there would be some jealousy if it was known that I was going out with a couple of guys. Then I ruin my chance with one guy because of assumptions. We do that too -- we (men and women) are SO GREAT at assuming things...yet we still haven't mastered the ability to read minds (hey, I'm working on that patent; I'll be a millionaire! No, a BILLIONAIRE!).

Look, guys, a decent woman will want you to be yourself. She'll want you to also have the ability to make some compromise to have a healthy and balanced relationship. You don't want a clingy woman? Don't give her a reason to cling; instead, give her some attention as well as explaining your need to have some alone down time. A rational woman will understand; if she throws a fit, throw her out! That's just a big sign of trouble.
Ladies...stop over analyzing (hey, I do this ALL THE TIME, I'm not innocent!). People are far more simple than we give them credit. But when we start to analyze...that's when trouble crops up. I'm in the throes of analyzing a great date (date number 4-- usually I know that we're a couple by now but that has always lead to a huge disappointment, so I'm taking a different approach. But what IS the fourth date?); if I let my brain take over, then I have the potential to ruin something that might be great. So instead, to save myself and shut up that stupid voice inside my head (telling me I'm a loser, ugly, not good enough, etc), I'm going to get busy on my own stuff (I've got cleaning, plants to pot, kid stuff and it's time to decorate for fall-- yay!).

We protect our own egos even though this might hurt someone else; this needs to stop. We need to show more empathy and realize that we are all on the same playing field. We avoid the truth because no one really wants to hurt anyone; we don't want to be the bad guy. This works against us, however. We HAVE to communicate. We HAVE to stop making assumptions. We HAVE to start standing up for what we need/want and also accepting what our potential partners want/need. Personally, I think this is a very rational way of looking at things...but yet...I'm the single girl...always....